Osiris, the Egyptian god, flaunted his virility in the Underworld as King, declaring in The Book of the Dead: “I am Osiris, stiff of the penis, I am mightier than the Lord Terror; I copulate and have power over myriads.” 

An erection is when blood enters and fills the spongy tissue of the shaft until the penis rises and stiffens into hardness. This process usually occurs during some sexual arousal, physical contact, or sexualized thoughts, but most males experience random and uncontrolled full or partial erections without stimuli during the day.

These spontaneous erections may be embarrassing if in public, but they’re a very natural part of the male experience. Children and infants are known to get erections, as are unborn babies.

In this article, we will give you the basics about hard-ons. There will be numerous other times where we’ll discuss medical issues such as erectile dysfunction and even what happens when you have damaged your cock while erect. But first, we need to discuss the basics of anatomy and how and why your member gets stiff.

On average, males will begin obtaining steady erections after the onset of puberty, which usually happens somewhere between the ages of 10-14. Some hard-ons will take the form of “morning wood” and nighttime erections until a natural decrease around the age of 40, when they might lessen or even stop entirely depending on testosterone levels.

Until then, most males will have between 4-8 erections while sleeping. Some males report differences in the type of erections they have during the day and night, as well as their physical and emotional responses to them. These erections will vary in strength and length of stiffness.

Morning hard-ons are sometimes called “piss hard-ons” as they are more associated with a need to urinate than sexual arousal. These erections have, in some men, been reported to be “stronger and harder” than those due to sexual arousal. So-called “semi-erections” are also common. This occurs when a guy is slightly aroused but not totally stimulated. These may turn into full hard-ons or deflate with time or after removing the original stimuli.

The time it takes for a male to obtain a full erection and to “deflate,” either after ejaculation or not, depends on the guy, his rate of arousal, the size and girth of his dick.

The angle of the dangle

Generally, a guy’s penis, when fully erect, will rise away from the pelvis and point upward and outward, or even downward.  But curvatures of the cock are almost as common, with some making turns toward the left or right and others curving upwards (or downwards). Outside of injuries, including circumcision, which scars the internal tissue of the penis, curves occur naturally and without issue or pain during erection.

If you do experience pain during an erection, at any point, or have a prolonged erection over 4 hours, seek medical care as this may be a sign of a more severe condition (known as priapism).

Length vs Girth,

This is a question that only you can answer for yourself. As gay males, we have two questions to ask ourselves about genitalia:

A) What do we like in ourselves?

and

B) What do we prefer in a partner?

Because of the proliferation of pornography, which, by its very nature, employs guys in the less-than-5% population with extra-large endowments, many viewers expect and desire a dick like a porn performer. But you’re most likely not a porn star. You are a regular guy with a regular sex life. Measured expectations are the key to a happy life.

Length is fun to look at/play with, and some guys enjoy having a longer cock, and a partner with one as well.

As far as sex goes, for some, longer may be better for oral and anal sex as it can massage the throat muscles and, if long enough, for anal sex, penetrate your second sphincter. For others, these are bad things.

Girth is excellent for “stretching” the anus and mouth, as well as stimulating your prostate. Described as a “full” feeling, this is preferred by some guys. But there’s no standard right or wrong answer, just what you like. Knowing your body will help you decide what is best for you when searching for a sexual partner. This is when masturbation and sex toys can be a significant help in self-exploration.

SIZE!

The male sex organ reaches its full size during puberty. In addition to its sexual function, the penis acts as a conduit for urine to leave the body. Sometimes called a cock, dick, wang, dong, and even BIO-DICK, a man is born with a penis that will alter in size, shape, and even color throughout his life.

In this article, we are ONLY speaking about erection measurements because studies prove that over 79% of us are growers and not show-ers, to some extent.

Size:

First off, let’s answer if the size of a man’s member really matters. The short answer is YES. The longer answer is still yes, but it includes allowances for the individual, the “usage,” and even the duration of sex. When anyone says that size does not matter, they are lying. Don’t believe us? Ask them if 3 inches is perfect. What about 12? How about thick as a beer bottle or a baby’s wrist? See, size ALWAYS matters.

You can read more about penis size and its effect on gay males’ sexual orientation, preferred sexual positions, and self-worth in our article titled: DOES SIZE REALLY MATTER?

The typical penis is 5.25ins long and 4.6ins around when erect. There is NO link between race and a man’s penis size. This is a myth. There also is no link between hand/shoe size or a man’s height. But, gay males are known to have a 1/3 of an inch greater endowment than straight fellows.

Most assume the average size is much more significant, and 6ins or even 7ins are commonly quoted figures. Interestingly enough, most guys OVER-ESTIMATE their size when participating in “self-reporting” studies but UNDER-ESTIMATE the size of their penis in real life due to the natural effect of looking down on it. If you want to learn how to measure your equipment correctly, click HERE.

There is always talk about if a guy’s penis size matters, and almost always, it is from the perspective of women or their benefit. How gay males feel about size is rarely addressed thoughtfully. Of course, we are called names like “size queens,” but having our anatomy viewed without humor and given validity is rare. We aim to change that with this article.

Does my erect cock look normal?

Outside of some actual deformity, accident, or even complication after circumcision, most guys’ erect cocks look “normal.”

Normal is a relative term and should be avoided. The real issues are, do you have a healthy cock and erections?

Erectile dysfunction, as we discuss further down in this article, is a natural and growing problem, but if you can obtain an erection, trust us, it looks normal.

Our friend Frank Cosmo, from Cosmopolitan magazine. (Shut up, we just read it for the articles) has some thoughts on the types of erections guys have.

1. The Pee Boner. This is a fake-out boner that happens when you really, really, really have to pee and goes away right after, like stepping on a garden hose.

2. The Morning Boner. This greets you in the morning with a stiff hello, like a butler that can only pee and ejaculate. This boner is the Egg McMuffin of morning sex: The two go well together.

3. The Ghost Boner. This one comes along and leaves like the wind. Nothing is happening around you to set it off; no one can see it. It’s just there and gone like an apparition.

4. The “I Don’t Know How I Should Feel” Boner. We’re watching something on TV, like reruns of The Nanny, when suddenly a boner shows up out of nowhere and forces us to come to terms with the fact that we’re sexually attracted to Fran Drescher’s weird accent for some reason.

5. The Inappropriately Timed Boner. This boner pops up at a time that makes us feel dirty, and we really have no idea why it’s there, like when our dad is saying grace at Thanksgiving dinner.

6. The Classic Boner. You can’t beat a classic (well, I guess in this case you can). This is the pre-sex boner that shows up right when we need it most. This is our penis being a bro(ner) and doing exactly what it’s supposed to do exactly when it’s supposed to do it.

7. The Night Boner. This boner shows up right when we want to go to sleep and makes it tough to fall asleep on anything other than on our back. We’re forced to either wait things out or lose 20 minutes of sleep negotiating with it.

8. The Attention-Seeker. This boner pops up when we’re in a public place or, worse, doing a presentation at work. “Hey, what’s going on,” this boner says. “Let me show you my PowerPoint.” This is pretty much every boner we got throughout middle school and most of high school. They’re less common when we’re adults, but we can still get them occasionally.

9. The Forever Boner. This boner thinks we’re buds and wants to hang out a bunch. It’s like that friend that comes over and then doesn’t take the signals a few hours later that it’s time for them to leave because you’re tired. In both cases, the only way to get them to leave is by masturbating.

10. The Legendary Boner. Not all boners are created equal. Sometimes, we wind up getting a boner that has that certain je ne sais quoi that really elevates it above the other boners we usually get. It somehow feels extra manly, like a Viking boner.

11. The Marathoner, aka the Tag Team. This is the boner that shows up right after another boner after sex, like, “Yo, what’s up? This penis doesn’t even know what flaccid is.”

12. The Sad Boner. This is the opposite of No. 10. It’s a boner by definition, but nothing more, like our penis just isn’t feeling it. Seeing it instantly makes you sad, like an abandoned baby carriage or present-day Aaron Carter.

13. The Sweatpants Boner. Sweatpants are a boner’s tuxedo. While a boner in and of itself, these boners know they’re out, and they don’t have a care in the world.

14. The Public Bathroom Boner. For some reason, our penis decides when we’re sitting on a public toilet seat; “Now is the time to get hard.” All we can do at this point is to start writing out our will because we want to die.

Honorable Mention: The Denim Non-Boner. The moments when our jeans bunch up in just the wrong way, causing us to desperately try to explain to an uncomfortable stranger, “Oh, don’t worry! That isn’t my penis!” and now, somehow, things are worse.

Erectile Dysfunction

Erectile Dysfunction (ED, also known as(impotence, is very common in men of all ages. It’s more likely to occur as you age, but young men experience it, too. Both physical and mental factors can cause erectile dysfunction.

Having erection trouble from time to time isn’t necessarily a cause for concern. If erectile dysfunction is an ongoing issue, however, it can cause stress, affect your self-confidence, and contribute to relationship problems. Problems getting or keeping an erection can also be a sign of an underlying health condition that needs treatment and a risk factor for heart disease.

Risk factors

As you age, erections might take longer to develop and might not be as firm. You might need more direct touch to your penis to get and keep an erection.

Various risk factors can contribute to erectile dysfunction, including:

  • Medical conditions, particularly diabetes or heart conditions
  • Tobacco use, which restricts blood flow to veins and arteries, can — over time — cause chronic health conditions that lead to erectile dysfunction
  • Being overweight, especially if you’re obese
  • Certain medical treatments, such as prostate surgery or radiation treatment for cancer
  • Injuries, particularly if they damage the nerves or arteries that control erections
  • Medications, including antidepressants, antihistamines, and medications to treat high blood pressure, pain, or prostate conditions
  • Psychological conditions, such as stress, anxiety, or depression
  • Drug and alcohol use, especially if you’re a long-term drug user or heavy drinker

Symptoms

Erectile dysfunction symptoms might include persistent:

  • Trouble getting an erection
  • Trouble keeping an erection
  • Reduced sexual desire

Causes

Male sexual arousal is a complex process that involves the brain, hormones, emotions, nerves, muscles, and blood vessels. Erectile dysfunction can result from a problem with any of these. Likewise, stress and mental health concerns can cause or worsen erectile dysfunction.

Sometimes, a combination of physical and psychological issues causes erectile dysfunction. For instance, a minor physical condition that slows your sexual response might cause anxiety about maintaining an erection. The resulting anxiety can lead to or worsen erectile dysfunction.

Physical causes of erectile dysfunction

In many cases, erectile dysfunction is caused by something physical. Common causes include:

  • Heart disease
  • Clogged blood vessels (atherosclerosis)
  • High cholesterol
  • High blood pressure
  • Diabetes
  • Obesity
  • Metabolic syndrome — a condition involving increased blood pressure, high insulin levels, body fat around the waist, and high cholesterol
  • Parkinson’s disease
  • Multiple sclerosis
  • Certain prescription medications
  • Tobacco use
  • Peyronie’s disease — development of scar tissue inside the penis
  • Alcoholism and other forms of substance abuse
  • Sleep disorders
  • Treatments for prostate cancer or enlarged prostate
  • Surgeries or injuries that affect the pelvic area or spinal cord
  • Low testosterone

Psychological causes of erectile dysfunction

The brain plays a crucial role in triggering the series of physical events that cause an erection, starting with feelings of sexual excitement. Several things can interfere with sexual feelings and cause or worsen erectile dysfunction. These include:

  • Depression, anxiety, or other mental health conditions
  • Stress
  • Relationship problems due to stress, poor communication, or other concerns

Depression and other mood disorders can strongly affect the ability to get and maintain an erection. Individuals with depression are 40% more likely to suffer from erectile dysfunction, according to the National Library of Medicine, which also points out there is an inverse link between depression and ED, with depression being three times more likely among men who have erectile dysfunction[4].

Depression can also result in a cycle of ED, notes Dr. Lundy, as a person might be less likely to put themselves “in a position to be sexually active, which will impair his overall well-being and his image.”

Medications that may cause erectile dysfunction

Medications are a prevalent contributing cause of ED—it’s estimated that one-fourth of all cases of erectile dysfunction are due to prescription medications, per the National Library of Medicine. These medications include:

  • Antidepressants, particularly SSRIs
  • Cimetidine
  • Ketoconazole
  • Spironolactone
  • Sympathetic blockers (methyldopa, clonidine and guanethidine)
  • Thiazide diuretics
  • Other antihypertensives

Additionally, beta blockers can play a minor role in contributing to ED.

When to see a doctor

A family doctor is an excellent place to start when you have erectile problems. See your doctor if:

  • You have concerns about your erections, or you’re experiencing other sexual problems such as premature or delayed ejaculation
  • You have diabetes, heart disease,e or another known health condition that might be linked to erectile dysfunction
  • You have other symptoms along with erectile dysfunction

How to get longer and stronger erections

It is more than natural to want a more robust erection at some point in life. Research into erectile dysfunction has led to advancements in penile health and care but also to more men wanting to take advantage of these results, regardless of whether they have erectile dysfunction or not. Guys of all ages have turned to using ED medications and natural remedies to get the results they desire.

Medications

Oral medicines for ED usually work well and cause few side effects.

The four main medicines taken by mouth for erectile dysfunction are:

  • Avanafil (Stendra).
  • Sildenafil (Viagra).
  • Tadalafil (Cialis).
  • Vardenafil.

These medicines are called PDE5 inhibitors. They enhance the effects of a chemical the body makes that relaxes muscles in the penis, called nitric oxide. This boosts blood flow and helps you get an erection from sexual activity. According to the National Library of Medicine, these drugs are effective, with an overall success rate of about 76%.

How oral medicines differ

Each oral medicine for ED has a slightly different chemical makeup. These minor differences affect how each medication works, such as how quickly it takes effect and wears off and the possible side effects. Your doctor or other health care professional can recommend one based on these factors, other health conditions, and any other medicines you take.

  • Sildenafil (Viagra). This medicine works best when you take it on an empty stomach an hour before sex. The body takes longer to absorb it after a high-fat meal or alcohol. Its effects often last for 4 to 5 hours. It might work longer if you have mild to moderate erectile dysfunction.
  • Vardenafil. This medicine also works best when you take it an hour before sex on an empty stomach. As with sildenafil, a high-fat meal or alcohol keeps the body from absorbing it as quickly. Vardenafil usually works for 4 to 5 hours. Its effects might last longer if you have mild to moderate ED. A newer form of the medicine that dissolves on the tongue might work faster than the pill you swallow.
  • Tadalafil (Cialis). This medication is taken with or without food an hour before sex. It works for up to 36 hours. You can take it in a small dose daily or in a larger dose as needed.
  • Avanafil (Stendra). You can take this medicine with or without food 30 minutes before sex, depending on the dose. It lasts 4 to 5 hours or longer if you have mild to moderate ED.

ED medications are considered safe for usage for most men but not for those using POPPERS, nitrate medications, or who have specific medical concerns. Discussing these issues with your medical provider and reporting any side effects you may experience is best.

  • Over-the-counter supplements have become just as popular as prescription medications. But these pills should be used with a large amount of caution, IF AT ALL—especially those purchased online or at drugstores or gas stations.
  • Some dietary supplements, vitamins, and herbs are known to have some potential to assist with ED and cause longer and stronger erections.

Natural Options

There are several self-care strategies you can use to get harder erections.

These include:

  1. Talking to your partner about your sex life
  2. Getting regular exercise
  3. Eating a healthy, balanced diet
  4. Getting enough sleep
  5. Monitor your testosterone levels
  6. Cutting your tobacco and alcohol use
  7. Managing your stress
  8. Strengthening your pelvic floor muscles

Lifestyle plays a fundamental role in sex health and erectile function. Adopting some (or all) of these habits can give you results without medication.

Other Options

  • Injection therapy: If oral PDE-5 inhibitors are unsuccessful, a common next step in treatment are injections of papaverine, an alpha-blocker and vasodilator. Individuals give themselves an injection every time they would like to have an erection. Though there are some drawbacks, such as potential discomfort and bruising, Dr. Lundy says injections are “highly efficacious” and offer a quick onset.
  •  Cock rings This O-shaped toy fits around your penis and helps keep blood in the shaft, where you want it. A cock ring also helps prevent venous leakage, a form of erectile dysfunction where blood flows to your penis but has trouble staying there. 
  • Vacuum erection device: A non-surgical option for individuals is an external vacuum device, which is placed over the penis and then pumped to create pressure around the penis, pulling blood into the penis. Then, a small rubber band is placed around the base of the penis to trap the blood and keep the penis erect. “Some discomfort and potentially some bruising or bleeding” can occur with this treatment, according to Dr. Lundy, and the penis “isn’t nearly as well anchored as with a natural erection, so it’s less stable.” 
  • Penile implants: This option is typically offered when other treatments are not successful or viable. With an inflatable prosthesis, a small pump is inserted in the scrotum that an individual squeezes to inflate and stiffen the penis. Though the inflatable prosthesis is “more commonly used” and “far more user friendly,” per Dr. Lundy, there’s also the option for a malleable prosthesis. With this option, two bendable rods are implanted in the penis, which a person can then use to bend their penis up or down.

For more options, click HERE and HERE.

NOTE:

Marijuana sits on both sides of the aisle regarding erections. For some guys, it is known to cause erectile dysfunction, but for others, it can create powerful erections. A few unfortunate men were documented as having extensive cases of priapism, which required medical intervention.

Priapism

Having an erection that lasts through foreplay and sexual intercourse is our goal. If this hardon lasts just a bit longer for a second or third round, that can be fine, too. But, there does become a point when it can outlast its usefulness and become a different sort of pain in the ass.

Priapism is a persistent erection that lasts more than four hours and is not relieved by orgasm. Erections with this condition can be painful and are not always related to sexual activity and named for Priapus, the Greek god of fertility who sported an oversized, eternally-erect penis (so large he used it to frighten away anyone who tried to plunder his gardens).

The proliferation of erectile dysfunction medications like Viagra and Cialis into the social vocabulary has increased their availability to almost any gay man who wants them. When an attending physician prescribes these medications, they are done with all the proper warnings regarding safe usage. But, when provided by friends/sexual partners or even purchased online, the warnings about long-lasting erections are either not given or fall on deaf ears. In this respect, these medications fall into the “party drug” category.

Priapism can occur in all age groups, including newborns. However, it usually affects males in two different age groups: between the ages of 5 and 10 and 20 and 50.

Like most things in life, not all long-lasting erections are the same. For more information, please read our article on this medical condition.

Erection embarrassment

Depending on what type of household you grew up in and the general community standards you were raised with, most likely, you were taught that erections, though natural, were bad and dirty. That their mere presence signaled a “wrongness” in you or what you were doing. As a gay male, your erections signaled to yourself and possibly others that you were attracted to other guys. Your dick outed you. We at GMJ love erections, and you should, too.

But for a hard dick, you wouldn’t be here. The other side of the coin is erections as a comedy standard. Many comedians and B-list actors make millions vomiting up their juvenile thoughts on erections and how funny it is to get hit in the balls.

These “jokes” aren’t made from a place of male physical security but rather from a more profound, shallow place of insecurity and envy. Laugh if you want, but be in on the joke. Erections aren’t only natural and normal; they are a daily fact of life for us.  

Babies get erect, and even corpses, so from the cradle to the grave, a hard dick is what you will have. This is excellent news. Most of us greet the morning with a stiffy stuck to the sheets and have numerous minor and major boners throughout the day.

This is our body’s way of telling us that things are going A-OK. If you hate having erections or they make you feel embarrassed, think back on this moment the first time you want one and cannot get one. Yes, as noted above, there will be times when your dick seems to have a mind of its own and gets hard at the most inconvenient times for seemingly no reason. But you should never feel ashamed to have an erection or shame others who get it.

Take the tip from the god Osiris and enjoy your woody; stroke him, show him love, and he’ll give you pleasure beyond your wildest dreams because that is his job.

Tags: , ,