Sex is the significant difference that separates us from straight people. Being same-sex-oriented and thus not sexually attracted to those born female has caused the totality of trouble and strife for gay males. Physical and verbal violence, discrimination, abuse, and all other actions that can be considered hate crimes and general homophobia are standard parts of life for us.
Taking this into account and how integral sex is to our lives, no matter how often we are, or are not, having it, one would think that collectively we would be great at it. For decades, one of the major critiques about our community is that we are constantly having sex. Too much sex, in fact. We refuse to settle down with one partner and thus do not deserve equal rights.
Any place where gay males congregated for sex or allowed us to perform sexual acts without consequences was targeted for governmental shutdown, attacked by homophobes, and considered health and safety hazards. Unfortunately, these spaces would have been perfect for sharing healthcare information about HIV, #PrEP, STDs, and sexual safety.
Of course, not every gay man is bad at sex. But it depends on how you define “bad sex.” Our definition is liberal in its concept because it needs to be. Bad sex, for this article, is sexual contact and/or intercourse lacking a positive effect. It is not satisfying physically or emotionally for one, both, or all of the participants. It may also be mentally, verbally, and/or physically abusive. Most of all, bad gay sex does not produce its desired outcome of creating physical and sexual intimacy between the males involved.
As humans, sex is an activity that we crave. It is bonding and luxurious when appropriately done but hurtful, humiliating, and shameful when not.
Our community is not as proficient in sex because we were never taught the mechanics. Everything we know about gay sex comes from the view and perspective of heterosexual people and their sex lives. We have interpreted how our intimate interactions should be conducted, where it is acceptable, and the number of partners, all based on straight peoples’ views of us.
And since homophobia never seems to disappear, our perception of our sexual lives is not based on something positive. Gay men spend a lifetime attempting to carve out our versions of sex, far and away from hetero normative expectations. But along the way, some of the basics get lost. For us, this is the root of “bad sex.”
You, individually, may not believe yourself to be affected by these issues, but can you speak so confidently about your sexual partners? As a community, what affects one, affects all. And many of our brothers are suffering. And, as the saying goes, hurt people, hurt people.
No matter how you feel about this topic, there is no denying that many gay guys have totally checked out of not only anal sex but partnered sex, instead preferring masturbation over intercourse with other males.
We focus on sex rather than love because, contrary to popular opinion, same-sex love has never been illegal. It is our physical and sexual attraction to our sex that others object to. Platonic male relationships are celebrated as healthy, but once someone gets an erection, it’s all fire and brimstone from then on.
HETERO-NORMATIVE SOCIETY (God made Adam and Eve)
- religion and law
Religion’s colossal impact on Western civilization’s laws and policies can not be denied. The policing of same-sex activities is a long-standing procedure that began as far back as 1290.
“The first recorded references of criminalization in English law date back to two medieval treatises: Fleta (1290, written in Latin) and Britton (circa the start of the 14th century, written in Norman French).”
The treatises show that the common law at the time tried in ecclesiastical rather than secular courts, saw sodomy as an offense against God with the punishment of being buried alive in the ground or burnt to death. The latter punishment was applied to “sorcerers, sorceresses, renegades, sodomites, and heretics publicly convicted.”
The Buggery Act of 1533: In England, when King Henry VIII made his break with the Catholic Church, much of the former ecclesiastic law tried in the ecclesiastical courts had to be revised and incorporated into secular law to be tried by the state. This included many sexual offenses, such as the Acte for the punishment of the vice of Buggerie, punishable by death, passed as an Act of Parliament during Henry VIII’s reign.
It was the country’s first civil sodomy law. While anyone could technically be convicted under the act, same-sex convictions were the most common.
Crucially, the 1533 Act provided the foundation for the sodomy laws that were eventually exported worldwide under British colonial rule over 300 years later.
The concept of individual sexual privacy rights came into being during the implementation of the French Penal Code in 1791, decriminalizing same-sex activity. The Napoleonic Code, introduced in 1804, followed suit. This Code was later adopted by most of the countries occupied by the French under Napoleon. It strongly influenced regulations in other countries, helping to spread the model of a criminal code that did not criminalize same-sex activity.
The French Penal and Napoleonic Codes had a profound impact, directly and indirectly, on legal systems across the globe leading to the implementation of criminal codes that did not criminalize same-sex activity.
Throughout the history of laws forbidding buggery, sodomy, and/or same-sex intercourse, there has always been one constant—a blinding rage against male homosexuals. Lawmakers made efforts to ensure that males who engaged in these acts faced the most severe and harshest penalties, often being the only group focused on in the laws.
In England, it took nearly 300 years for the Buggery Act 1533, introduced by Henry VIII, to be replaced by the Offences Against the Person Act 1828. The new Act narrowed the offense to solely focus on male same-sex activity, which was still punishable by death.
Many Eastern nations followed their colonizers’ steps and created The Indian Penal Code 1860 (IPC), which was devised to ‘inculcate European morality into resistant masses.’ So began the process of enforcing Victorian morality throughout the Empire. Section 377 of the IPC was the crime of ‘unnatural offenses’ which criminalized ‘carnal intercourse against the order of nature with a penalty of imprisonment for life.
India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Burma, Sri Lanka, Malaysia, Singapore, and Brunei also were ruled by legislation based on Section 377.
The Criminal Code of the Australian colony of Queensland was drafted in 1899 by the colony’s chief justice, Sir Samuel Griffith, and came into force in 1901.
The Code expanded the terms of criminalization established under the Indian Penal Code to criminalize both partners who engage in male same-sex activity. Instead of just the penetrating male.
At the time, it was the second most influential penal Code after the Indian Penal Code. It directly informed criminalizing laws in Papua New Guinea, Nigeria, Kenya, Uganda, and Tanzania.
Century after century, we see male homosexuals punished for being same-sex attracted at alarming rates, affecting how society views us.
- social mores
Religion has affected laws relating to homosexual male activity and has also shaped society’s attitudes towards us. The two can not be separated, as the former created the latter. The more religious a community claims to be, the more homophobic they are towards sexual orientation minorities.
But, all hate is not spread equally. A 2020 study exploring the attitudes toward nonheterosexual men and women in 23 Western and non-Western countries found lesbians are more accepted than gay men worldwide.
“We found that gay men are disliked more than lesbian women in every country we tested,” according to the study conducted by three New York University psychologists and published in the December issue of the journal Social Psychology and Personality Science.
The study found that “attitudes toward sexual minorities are robustly related to beliefs about the gender system, more broadly.”
The study says that gender norms “prescribe behaviors that fuel a heteronormative system — that is, men and women conforming to norms are seen as ‘complements’ to one another, making heterosexual coupling seem necessary and normal.”
In all 23 countries studied, the report found that “gay men are rated more negatively than lesbian women.” That trend was almost entirely driven by the views of men, except in Poland, Hungary, and Russia, where women also assigned gay men high unfavorable ratings. In the United States, the study found that men who are anti-gays largely direct their prejudice toward gay men, while women who are anti-gays direct their bias more equally toward gay men and gay women.
“In other words, harboring prejudicial attitudes toward sexual minorities is part of the social construction of what it means to ‘be a man” in many Western countries, according to the report.
Dating back to some of the original laws against sodomy and buggery, same-sex acts between males were of particular interest and punishment, where lesbianism was not even mentioned, much less prosecuted.
Canada enacted a law in1892 making “gross indecency” between men illegal, including anything that indicated same-sex attraction, like simple touching, dancing, and kissing. This was one of the most sweeping legal attacks against homosexual males in the West.
- fighting decriminalization
As nations around the world began, once again, to decriminalize homosexuality, some remained ardent in their defense of our prosecution based on the social mores of the country.
“Still more striking is how judges, public figures, and political leaders have, in recent decades, defended those laws as citadels of nationhood and cultural authenticity. Homosexuality, they now claim, comes from the colonizing West. They forget the West brought in the first laws enabling governments to forbid and repress it.”
Addressing the sodomy law in 1983, India’s Supreme Court proudly declared that “neither the notions of permissive society nor the fact that in some countries homosexuality has ceased to be an offense has influenced our thinking.”
“Homosexuality may be very common in Britain, but it is definitely not common in Hong Kong. Even if it is, it is still wrong to legalize activities that are in clear breach of our morals.
In November 2001, the then prime minister of neighboring Malaysia, who had encouraged Anwar Ibrahim’s first “sodomy” trial, blamed homosexuality on the former colonial power: “The British people accept homosexual [government] ministers,” he said. “But if they ever come here bringing their boyfriend along, we will throw them out. We will not accept them.”
“Extreme and extraordinary, however, have been the law’s defenses from sub-Saharan Africa. Zimbabwe’s Robert Mugabe launched the long ferocity in the early 1990s, vilifying lesbians and gays as “un-African” and “worse than dogs and pigs.” “We are against this homosexuality and we as chiefs in Zimbabwe should fight against such Western practices and respect our culture,” he berated crowds.”
“President Daniel Arap Moi of Kenya blasted homosexuality as “against African tradition and biblical teachings. We will not shy away from warning Kenyans against the dangers of the scourge.” In Zambia, a government spokesman proclaimed in 1998 that it was “un-African and an abomination to society which would cause moral decay”; the vice-president warned that “if anybody promotes gay rights after this statement the law will take its course. We need to protect public morality.”
Sex between males is seen by far too many as a dehumanizing event. To be penetrated by another male, either with or without consent, is viewed as equal in value and in need of punishment. This belief has been so strong that some even believed that literal physical transformations affected male sodomites.
“To the drafters, the act of “sodomy” itself was so horrible that the harm seemed uniform: regardless of the other party’s age, and regardless of whether he consented or not. Section 377 appeared in a Penal Code section on “Offenses Affecting the Human Body.” The fiction that “carnal knowledge against the order of nature” violated one’s own physical integrity, even if consented to, seems to have been powerful. It found fodder in medical myths that supposed the “habitual” sodomite prone to literal physical deformation.”
By defining “carnal knowledge” in terms of penetration, the Indian Penal Code language limited the act and left the possibility that only the penetrating party might be guilty.
For centuries, the penetrating partner was the only one prosecuted for the crime of sodomy, as he is seen as committing the greatest of sins. He was the one who instigated the “abominable crime of buggery.” It was not until later revisions of these laws that both parties were prosecuted and received the same sentence.
As the law was applied in British colonies in subsequent years, one project was to redefine the scope of “penetration”-and ensure the provision would criminalize as broad a range of acts, and partners “against the order of nature” as possible. Consent to the action does not matter.
In Zimbabwe, nearly universally-as one legal expert writes that “an assault (possibly violent) has taken place is of secondary importance” to the court. The law’s silence on consent translates into judges’ indifference to the victim. It also reaffirms that “the non-existence of a victim,” where there was consent, is no hindrance to prosecution.
The absence of age or consent factors in the law meant that consensual homosexual conduct was legally indistinguishable from rape or pedophilia. Thus the figure of the “homosexual” could easily be linked and assimilated-in popular thinking as well as before the law-to violent sexual criminals.
The standard view of the male homosexual as a violent predator seeking to rape and abuse both boys and men to satisfy his carnal pleasures arises from these changes in the law.
- media
Representation is a modern buzzword, but gay males have almost been part of mainstream media since the beginning. Unfortunately, our portrayals have always been negative. Media is a representation of a culture’s mores and social beliefs. It also enforces and supports the mainstream view of particular noteworthy issues while denouncing those it seeks to inhibit. Homosexuality is not presented as an acceptable sexual orientation. Thus every gay male that shares the screen with his straight counterparts will be a villain, murderer, rapist, or nare do well, and of course, suffer the ultimate fate of death.
From the sissy characters to the censorship of the Hollywood Production Code, the coded gay characters and cruel stereotypes, neither the big nor small screen have been friends to gay males.
Only very recently has liberal Hollywood changed their tune, but only slightly. Homosexual males still are depicted in the most stereotypical ways, with either no sexual lives to speak of or as the ultimate whores of the village. Same-sex male couples are usually sanitized for the public’s protection, with any sense of intimacy avoided at all costs.
“Media serve as vital sources of sexual information for adolescents exploring their sexual identities. Research suggests that mainstream media sanitize depictions of lesbian, gay, or bisexual (LGB) individuals, preventing LGB characters from engaging in realistic sexual talk or sexual behaviors.”
Outside of homosexual-specific productions, portrayals of gay males’ sex lives are often relegated to pornographic mediums.
- education
The school system should be one of the places a gay male could learn about his sexual health and activity. As you know, this is one of the last places suitable for addressing our needs.
The amount and specificity of your sexual education will vary depending on where you live, but with few exceptions, it will be based on a heteronormative paradigm. A litany of studies prove the inadequacy of these courses to meet the demands of a sexual orientation minority. Still, even more so, they are either dismissive of our concerns or downright hostile.
Even though they may not feel like it, students today have greater access to homosexual education than anyone reading this article. For over fifty years, states in the US have outlawed teaching about same-sex orientation, only permitting such when depicted as unnatural and/or undesirable, as well as taught homophobic texts with biblical references.
The lack of substantive education on homosexuality did not end with teaching hetero normative actions and social expectations like marriage and children at a time when adoption and same-sex marriage were illegal but also penalized openly gay teachers with firings and total bans. Most of which was an overreaction to the new disease called AIDS.
GENERATION AIDS (How to start a revolution)
One of the defining moments in homosexual history has been almost forgotten by most, even though without it, gay rights would not exist as they do today. No, we are not talking about the minor event that was Stonewall in 1969, but rather the much more significant Lavender Scare of the 1950s.
“The lavender scare was a moral panic about homosexual people in the United States government, leading to their mass dismissal from government service during the mid-20th century. It contributed to and paralleled the anti-communist campaign, which is known as McCarthyism and the Second Red Scare. Gay men and lesbians were said to be national security risks and communist sympathizers, which led to the call to remove them from state employment. It was thought that gay people were more susceptible to being manipulated, which could pose a threat to the country.”
The Lavender Scare – the federal government’s official response to both a visible lesbian and gay community and a perceived homosexual menace – normalized persecution of homosexuals through bureaucratic institutionalization of homophobia.
In 1953, President Dwight D. Eisenhower signed Executive Order 10450, which set security standards for federal employment and barred homosexuals from working in the federal government. The restrictions set in place were cause for hundreds of gay people to be forcibly outed and fired from the State Department. The executive order was also the cause for the firing of approximately 5,000 gay people from federal employment; this included private contractors and military personnel. Not only did the victims lose their jobs, but also they were forced out of the closet and thrust into the public eye as lesbian or gay.
By the mid-1950s, similar repressive and oppressive policies had gone into effect in state and local governments which extended the prohibitions on the employment of lesbians and gay men to cover twelve million workers – more than twenty percent of the United States labor force – who now had to sign oaths attesting to their moral purity to get or to keep their jobs.
An unknown number of gay men and lesbians, stripped of their livelihoods, facing embarrassment and unemployment, took their own lives.
The Lavender Scare sparked a brand new wave of homosexual activism like never seen before. Instead of hiding and remaining safe within a closet, they followed in the footsteps of the founders of The Society for Human Rights (1923), Henry Gerber and John T. Graves, and created new organizations to fight for same-sex rights.
The most noteworthy being The Mattachine Society (1950) and the Daughters of Bilitis, which formed the homophile movements of the U.S., were defined by McCarthyism and the Lavender Scare in many ways. They were underground organizations that maintained the anonymity of their members.
In 1957, Frank Kameny was dismissed from his position as an astronomer in the U.S. Army’s Army Map Service in Washington, D.C., because of his homosexuality, leading him to begin “a Herculean struggle with the American establishment” that would “spearhead a new period of militancy in the homosexual rights movement of the early 1960s”.
Kameny formally appealed his firing by the U.S. Civil Service Commission. Although unsuccessful, the proceeding was notable as the first known civil rights claim based on sexual orientation pursued in a U.S. court.
In 1964, organized by gay activist Randy Wicker, a small group picketed the Whitehall Street Induction Center after the confidentiality of gay men’s draft records was violated. This action has been identified as the first gay rights demonstration in the United States.
Kameny and fellow gay activist Jack Nichols also launched some of the earliest public protests by gays and lesbians with a picket line at the White House on April 17, 1965. In coalition with New York’s Mattachine Society and the Daughters of Bilitis, the picketing expanded to target the United Nations, the Pentagon, the United States Civil Service Commission, and Philadelphia’s Independence Hall for what became known as the Annual Reminder for gay rights. It would eventually morph, move to New York City, and become the Gay and Lesbian Rights Parade. Later known as simply PRIDE.
The 1950s and 1960s would coincide with the lives of those who would also be the most impacted by the AIDS Crisis. Out of the fire of the Lavender Scare many of our greatest leaders, teachers, and mentors wore forged. This was the galvanizing event that allowed the Stonewall Riots to succeed, as the organizers grew up during this witch hunt.
- The 1970s
From protests to parties, drugs, and disco to sex and religious salvation, this decade had it all for young homosexuals. Major metropolitan cities worldwide began protesting against anti-gay laws while contemporaneously becoming havens for homosexuals. New York City, Chicago, Philadelphia, and San Francisco were some of the cities where gay kids from around the country flocked.
The gay male sex and bar scene in cities like these exploded!
Dave Webb was 20 years old when he began college at the University of North Carolina-Charlotte in 1975. He remembers the sense of community in the gay bars. “The first time I went to Scorpios was in 1974,” Webb says. “It was amazing. It was affirming. It was exciting.”
Despite the fear of social rejection or, in worst-case scenarios, public or legal condemnation, Webb recounts a sense of comfort, ease, and freedom in gay men’s sexual culture.
“Condoms were never used,” says Webb. “You didn’t need to use condoms. Yeah, you might get some STD, but it was usually something you could take a little pill, and it would be gone in 10 days.”
Sex was ubiquitous and worry-free in the absence of significant health threats like HIV. Sexual freedom or promiscuity wasn’t seen as “dirty.”
Sexual liberation went hand in hand with legal liberation. But, not everyone congregated only in bars and clubs.
Rather than rejecting religious institutions wholesale, Jim Downs writes in his book Stand by Me: The Forgotten History of Gay Liberation, “many gay people actually turned towards religious organizations in the 1970s … Gay churches and other gay religious communities actually became a refuge that supported, embraced and helped to galvanize the gay liberation movement throughout the decade.” This was the case with New Orleans’s UpStairs Lounge, which, in addition to functioning as a bar, also housed religious gatherings.
- Aftermath
All good things must eventually come to an end.
In the early 1980s, reports began surfacing in San Francisco and New York City that a rare form of cancer called Kaposi’s Sarcoma was affecting young gay men. In the general press, the term “GRID”, which stood for gay-related immune deficiency, was used to refer to the disease. However, after determining that AIDS was not isolated to the gay community, it was realized that the term GRID was misleading and the term AIDS was introduced at a meeting in July 1982. By September 1982 the CDC started referring to the disease as AIDS.
The epidemic hit male baby boomers much harder than it did older and younger men, causing high numbers of premature deaths, especially among those aged 25-44 (and, in this age group, among those aged 35-44), with gay men suffering ‘the most AIDS deaths by far at the epidemic’s height’.
In the USA, by 1995, one gay man in nine had been diagnosed with AIDS, one in fifteen had died, and 10% of the 1,600,000 men aged 25-44 who identified as gay had died – a literal decimation of this cohort of gay men born 1951-1970.
These men were products of the 1950s and the Lavender Scare. In a few short years, the gay male community lost some of its finest, strongest and proudest members.
Their knowledge was never passed on to subsequent generations, but their deaths created a lasting fear of gay sex that remains to this day.
YOU! (It’s not your fault, but definitely your responsibility)
Individually and collectivity, we have had so much stolen from us due to our sexual orientation. We have been persecuted, prosecuted, and put to death for the perceived crime of male homosexuality. Our natural orientation and sexual desires have been cut short as laws were created to curtail our activities. Our mentors and teachers were imprisoned and left to die of a horrible disease.
Many saw AIDS as a just punishment for a deviant lifestyle; that was a long time coming. As our elders died, they celebrated our demise.
As homophobia, old and new, rears its ugly head once again, the most radical act we can commit is to engage in as much sexual activity as we wish to enjoy. But this time, utilizing the science, facts, and tools that our forefathers did not possess. There is no such thing as truly safe sex, but we can enjoy our birthright of homosexuality without guilt, shame or emotional burden.
The first step is admitting that we have all been greatly affected by life in a hetero-normative society that seeks to punish our sexuality instead of nurture it.
Next is to acknowledge the hard work of those who came before us in gaining the rights we enjoy today. The modern homosexual male rights movement is not new, but rather almost 100 years old. For a century, men, just like you, have waged a war of defense against those who wish to alter our sexual orientation to include sex with those born female or live a life of closeted misery. We should carry their torch and not let their work be lost to history, erased, or in vain.
Finally, we must all be conscious of our brothers suffering in silence. They harbor feelings of self-loathing and destruction due to their conditioning to hate being gay. Their pain is our pain. And when they act out, it affects us most, as we are always the targets of their aggression, rage, and turmoil.
- our sex is not like their sex
No matter what you have been taught or heard, homosexual male sex is nothing like heterosexual sex. Swapping out a female partner for another male changes the dynamics on every level. Our bodies are different, our socialization is different, and our ways of communicating sexually are all different. And, of course, anal sex is nothing like vaginal sex.
Being born and raised in a hetero normative society erroneously teaches many gay males that what they learned in books written for straight folks, seen in movies with straight folks, and have been brainwashed to believe about sex, from the perspective of straight folks, will translate easily into the gay male sexual word. But, they are wrong.
We must carve out our own path of sexuality, free of the confines and expectations of a heterosexual majority. This includes releasing ourselves of attempts to ape their sexual attitudes and behaviors.
Now that we have gotten that out let’s discuss some solutions to combat bad gay sex.
- male anatomy knowledge
We often praise the male form as a marvel of architectural design. From head to toe, men are beautiful. What our society is not proficient at is educating anyone, straight or gay, about male bodies as well as they do females about theirs.
A sign of bad sex is not knowing how your and your partner’s bodies work, both separately and as a unit. This means learning about your penis, testicles, and anus. What arouses you, which places on your body are erogenous zones, and which just don’t do it for you.
One of the many benefits of being gay is that you always have access to a male body to explore; your own. Take time to get to know yourself intimately through long and pleasurable sessions of masturbation. Often, the things you like are ones that your partner might find interesting as well. If not, at least you have information to share with him/them about your likes and dislikes.
Because gay male sex is nothing like sex with a female, you must let go of unrealistic expectations about “cleanliness” and accept that in life, sometimes, shit happens. If it does, put on your big boy pants, clean it up, and proceed as if nothing happened.
Not every man is the same, so keeping an open mind and heart goes a long way in creating a positive sexual experience. From vanilla to kink, naked to leather, and private to public, we all have sexual desires that we would like to have met.
- horny and high
There are various reasons why some guys drink and/or do drugs before or during sex. The liberation from inhibitions is the most common one, as certain substances are known to relax the mind and body, allowing for the acceptance of sexual acts they would usually shy away from.
For others, it is a means to escape from their internalized homophobia. They can only perform under the influence, as it provides a perfect excuse for their same-sex behaviors. When the drugs wear off, the guilt and shame return, often more intense than before the sex. This can often lead to the abuse of the unwitting partner.
We must all admit there is a reason why so many homosexual males consume drugs and alcohol in large quantities. And the answer is not because we are all well-adjusted gays in a hetero-normative society. Something sinister is happening when the drugs become more important than the sex.
- sexually transmitted diseases
Contracting an STD is as normal as the act of sex itself, and they are not punishments sent from high above to harm you for sexual deviancy. Luckily, we live in an age where every disease has great prevention tools and treatment. But, none of this works if you refuse to believe the science, get regularly tested, and are not honest with your partners about your status.
We have come a long way since the days of AIDS, and we should act like it. No matter how great the sex seemed at the time, it will immediately be classified as bad if either of you contracts an STD.
- up your game, bruh
Your brain is indeed your largest sexual organ. Not only is intelligence sexy, but the information you gather about sex is crucial to your joy and satisfaction with the act. Knowledge truly is power. The question is, what do you know about gay sex?
Taking the time to read and educate yourself about the many facets of male same-sex activities will help you avoid the trap of bad sex. Look for gay male authors that speak from personal experience. Seek out visual porn for its practical applications but don’t forget written pornography as a way to expand your horizons and explore new fetishes before trying them out with a partner.
Sex is just as much a skill as a talent, which means you can increase your expertise with practice. Forget counting the number of your sexual partners and focus on the amount of joy and pleasure you provide others and gain in return.
Some of the best information about sex you will ever receive is from your sexual partners. Talk to them, and listen to what they have to share. This is how you build not only trust but intimacy.
Stop searching for your perfect sexual match because he does not exist. You might get close but never hit the target. And that is fine. Enjoy the man, or men, that you are with for who they are, not tolerate them because of who they aren’t.
Before you go…
Homosexuality is neither a curse nor a blessing, it is a sexual orientation that is just as valid as heterosexuality. We have just as much of a right to not only have sex but good and enjoyable sex as anyone else. This is one of the points of our movement. Gay males are same-sex attracted, and who we choose to share our bodies with is our choice alone.
Tags: anal sex, gay sex, HIV, HIV prevention, PrEP, STD, UequalsU