Statistically speaking, gay/bi-sexual men of color are much more likely to….nope, sorry, can’t do it…won’t do it!. If you’re a man of color, you already know all of the End-of-the-World statistics and predictions about you, your friends, and your loved ones.

You most likely know many guys who either have HIV or are terrified of contracting this illness. Stigma regarding this disease is high but can be combated with education, prevention, and treatment medications, as well as a fact-based understanding of the meaning of UEQUALSU.

What we will not do is repeat those negative outlooks here because they refuse to address one single component that changes those numbers: YOU. You have total and complete control over whether you contract HIV or any other sexually transmitted disease.

The higher melanin level in your skin, your genetic make-up, and, in total, your race, doesn’t make the HIV virus easier to contract than for those living in white bodies. Socioeconomics, salary, and education aren’t even dictators when compared with non-people of color. What is a huge factor is your sexual pool. People of color, though growing, are still minorities in the United States. Many, due to cultural, social, legal, and community factors, have sex mainly with other people of color, thus making the number of potential sexual partners much smaller within an already small community. This is why it LOOKS like people of color are more susceptible to infection.

Statistics show that white gay males still make up the bulk of infections per year but with a smaller percentage seroconverting to positive. There is a difference between actual numbers and the percentage of infection. Men of color have a higher percentage, based on members claiming to be gay or bi-sexual. However, those that have a larger sexual pool due to partners of other races and education levels tend to decrease infection risk. Our takeaway from this was to not limit sexual partners based on race, but we would never limit our experiences anyway.

Look at the cycle graph below for a moment.

Ok, If James contracts HIV and then, because of his small dating and sexual pool, has sex with Paul, who then has sex with Jamal, and then Carlos, it will not take long before all four guys have HIV, especially if this small group are “fuck buddies” or live nearby. Now, if one or all of these guys are linked to another small group of guys or attend same-sex parties, bathhouses, or even share people in common on social media, HIV has a nice place to replicate with speed and ease. This is essentially how the virus is spread with gay males in general, but it takes less time in smaller, minority communities.

Please pay close attention to the last name listed in the circles below and follow them to see how quickly any STD can be transmitted. Also, imagine this being at ONE party or event on ONE night.

This fact is played out daily in the East Coast cities of Boston, New York, Philadelphia, Baltimore, Washington D.C., and Atlanta.

Further, these cities are part of the so-called Megalopolis, where guys travel up and down I95 for work and play. Which means containing a virus is much more difficult as spikes will occur in one city and quickly, due to mass transit and communication (Hahaha, that was a nice way to mention hook-up apps) makes connecting with another man of colour much easier and cheaper than ever before.

This ain’t that deep to understand. But this is only one part of the issue, so let’s break it down:

HIV Education and Proper Healthcare:

You cannot be afraid of learning about your body, sexual and general health. These are the facts of your life, whether you like it or not. Taking control of your education through research and then acting on it would be best. Find a doctor, get tested, and if positive for any STD, get treated immediately.

Yes, we know about the issues with people of color and the healthcare system, but that doesn’t let you off the hook. It means educating yourself and working harder to find a doctor to meet your needs. Sometimes, this will mean coming out of the closet (if you are in one); it may mean traveling out of your way or even moving to a new city. We’re not saying this lightly, as we have done all of these ourselves, but we are asking you a fundamental question: What are you willing to do to save your life?

PrEP and PEP:

Unfortunately, the message about PrEP has not been getting to many communities of color. And those who have been informed are not convinced of its ability to stop HIV. Everyone needs to spread the word that these are efficient options.

The medications to prevent and treat HIV are part of solid science. They work before and after if you believe you have been exposed. The disparities in medical care are well known and documented, and many studies discuss how difficult it may be for gay males of color to learn about these options or even get them prescribed and paid for. BUT YOU CANNOT DEPEND ON OTHERS TO SAVE YOUR LIFE. THAT IS YOUR JOB!

We will not play the ‘… if you believe you are at risk ” card because we are telling you you are at risk. If you’re a gay male of color and are sexually active, you are at high risk for contracting the HIV virus. Full. Stop.

This means that when you’re searching for a doctor, HIV/STDs will need to be at the front of your mind. If you are HIV negative, wish to have access to these medications, and your doctor will not prescribe PrEP for you, get a new damn doctor. His/her health is not at stake; yours is.

  • Medicaid, in many states, will pay for PrEP/PEP.
  • Pharmacies and pharmaceutical companies have programs that reduce the cost of these medications or even make them free.

Advances in HIV prevention and treatment medication

Various healthcare organizations and national governments publish a new list of drugs yearly. Over time, some medications are used less for multiple reasons, and new ones are made available. We have a list of the most current and prescribed medications, but you should speak with your medical advisors regarding your specific needs and options.

HIV has changed in numerous ways through the decades, and this includes the medications used to prevent and treat the disease. No longer are we chained to taking pills multiple times a day. Now, we have the option to receive long-lasting injections several times a year to achieve the exact same positive outcomes. For many, this is a better alternative and increases their ability to remain HIV-negative or get to a level of being undetectable if they are living with HIV.

Communication

  • This shouldn’t have to be said, but you are the one in control of your health and life. Don’t assume that he is negative just because he didn’t say he has HIV. There is also nothing wrong with the “TRUST…but VERIFY” concept.
  • If you want to stay HIV-free, this means that you must start opening your mouth and telling the truth. But you must first know the truth. It’s not good enough to claim you are negative; you must actually BE HIV-negative. If you are HIV positive, you must get treatment and get your golden ticket of being undetectable.
  • “I don’t know” is no longer an option. If he doesn’t care enough to know the truth about his health, why would he care about yours?
  • We’re not going to lecture you about how to discuss your HIV status because you already know the right and the wrong way. If you don’t, we will cover that in our STIGMA section. But for right now, try not to be a dick. HIV negative does not equal clean. HIV positive does not equal dirty or even sick. Man. Up. & Grow. Up.
  • If you are HIV positive, taking your medication, and are undetectable, Great! But, your work is not done. Honesty and communication are still key for you and your sexual partners. Studies show that those with properly treated HIV infection can and should lead normal, healthy lives. Undetectable guys also cannot pass on the virus. This includes you.

NOTE: Proper communication skills will also help you with your doctors/nurses, friends, and even family. We cannot stress enough that Silence Still Equals Death.

Condoms/Lube

The stereotype is that men of color hate condoms more than white men, which is why HIV is such an issue. As stated, this is not true. Men of color report higher use of condoms than whites, but the myth lives on.

It doesn’t matter what others think. What matters is what you know and practice. See, every guy hates condoms over natural skin. Many say that they cannot tell the difference, but we won’t lie to you; condoms do feel different, even the Ultra Thins. The reason is simple: THAT IS THEIR PURPOSE.

You have a man-made piece of material creating a barrier between you and your sexual partner. The way that it helps to reduce the risk of STD transmission is the same reason it feels different. Something is on your dick! This is a fact. Just like touching another hand with a gloved hand feels different than without. But you pull out those gloves every winter at the first sign of frost and keep them on until Spring.

See, we do things that are slightly uncomfortable every day for maximum benefit or lower risk. You wear a tie to work to keep being employed. You wear gloves for warmth, and a condom is no different. It adds a layer of protection. Your race does not make you an authority on not using condoms. But here are a few things that may help.

  1. Even though all men of color are considered very well-endowed, this is a myth. Check out our Penis Primer for the facts. But either way, not all boys are made equally. Finding the right condom is an act of trial and error. And no, not all of you are MAGNUM READY. So, please stop it.
  2. Lube helps. It creates a greater level of intimacy for both partners but also helps with sensation and comfort.
  3. Don’t stress. The more you worry about condoms decreasing sensitivity or even ruining the mood, the more they will. If you know how to put on a condom correctly, it should take seconds. Use that time wisely for foreplay and even keeping eye contact. Think outside of the box.

Finally:

These are tips that can help everyone, but definitely if you are in a small social/sexual circle. If just James does this, he will decrease the risk of HIV infection for the rest of the group. And if one or even two of the group started to speak openly and honestly about HIV and other STD prevention practices, think of how fast we could wipe out this illness. Yes, the numbers and statistics seem bleak, but you don’t have to listen or believe that HIV is a definite in your life. That is bullshit!

You are the Captain of your life, and your decisions will affect you most. Your race will only determine your risk if you want it to. Follow our advice, get tested and have lots of hot sex.

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