The end of 2017 saw the rise of the #metoo movement, as women came out of the shadows to discuss sexual abuse and harassment in and around the workplace. But gay men are victims of these workplace sex crimes as well, but our voices are silenced and even ignored.

Male victims of workplace sexual harassment are viewed less favorably and elicit less sympathy. In addition, male victims were believed to have suffered less and to require less time to recover.

In 2021, about 16% of sexual harassment complaints filed with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) were filed by men.  Over the years, there has been an uptick in complaints by men.  However, this data is unlikely to reflect the true number of actual victims.  Both male and female victims are hesitant to file complaints. 

Male victims may be hesitant to report sexual harassment or pursue a claim out of fear of not being taken seriously or ridiculed.  This may be because male victims are aware that many people assume that women are generally the victims of harassment and/or may fear that a complaint from a male would not be taken as seriously as if it came from a woman. 

The dialogue related to “me too” victims centers around women, and there is not as much conversation in our society recognizing that males are also victims of sexual harassment.  Men who were sexually abused as boys may respond differently than men abused as adults. Fear of retaliation and/or not being able to be the provider, doubt, shame, failing to be “strong enough,” anxiety, withdrawal from relationships or friendships, humiliation, depression, among others, may also prevent men from coming forward. 

As gay males, we are at significant risk of abuse from BOTH males AND females, but less likely to be believed or to receive the proper support afterward. We are actually more likely to be accused of being the aggressor and punished when the true culprit is female. Finally, males are more likely to be further victimized by Human Resources, senior staff, and other employees for “allowing” ourselves to be harmed, and/or wanting the sexual contact.

Terms

When so many words are thrown around without meaning or context, it is hard to understand precisely where the lines are and where they should be drawn. Sexual harassment, assault, battery, and rape are all legal terms with separate meanings depending on the actions of the perpetrator and even the specific jurisdiction of the crime. GMJ has covered these topics and will continue to do so, but we decided it was best to start at the beginning with some definitions.

Sexual Assault:

Illegal sexual contact that usually involves force upon a person without consent or is inflicted upon a person who is incapable of giving consent (as because of age or physical or mental incapacity) or who places the assailant (such as a doctor) in a position of trust or authorityAccording to the U.S. Department of Justice; “Sexual assault is any sexual contact or behavior that occurs without the explicit consent of the recipient. Falling under the definition of sexual assault are sexual activities as forced sexual intercourse, forcible sodomy, child molestation, incest, fondling, and attempted rape.”

Sexual Battery:

Broadly defined, it is when one person intentionally touches another, without the victim’s consent, in a manner that is harmful or offensive. Sexual battery can be defined as “An unwanted form of contact with an intimate part of the body that is made for purposes of sexual arousal, sexual gratification, or sexual abuse”. Sexual battery may occur whether the victim is clothed or not.” Intimidation, threats, and force are all different ways that sexual battery can occur. Yes, this technically includes grabbing a guy’s dick or ass as he walks by you in the bar.

Consent, like in all sexual crimes, is the essential factor in many cases. If a person is incapacitated, then consent cannot be given. It does not matter if the victim is incapacitated through their own conduct. For example, if a person gets drunk and passes out, any sexual contact with that person would be sexual battery. Fondling a person while he or she is asleep constitutes sexual battery. Similar conduct against a person confined to a hospital bed would also constitute sexual battery.

Sexual Harassment:

Unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature that tends to create a hostile or offensive work environment.

Rape:

Unlawful sexual intercourse or any other sexual penetration of the anus, or mouth of another person, with or without force, by a sex organ, other body part, or foreign object, without the consent of the victim.

Rape is “the penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim.” This is the newest definition given by the U.S. Department of Justice; the older definition was mainly based on women who had been raped, but the latest definition allows for all genders and gender identities to be acknowledged.

The primary difference between sexual battery and rape is that with battery, there is no penetration between the sexual organs. With sexual battery, all that matters is the non-consensual touching of another person’s sexual organs.

How does this affect gay males?

All of the above definitions view life and gender interactions through a legal lens, primarily from a heteronormative perspective. As we all know, to some extent, gay male life can be different, and the social and moral cues can be very complicated when you have guys mixing and testosterone raging. This does not mean that the rules and laws don’t apply to us; on the contrary, we at GMJ believe we need to pay extra attention to this issue, as sexual assault and battery are common in our community and under-reported crimes.

  • First, we gay males need to understand the laws and how we can and cannot touch other males or be touched by anyone of either sex.
  • Secondly, we need to have a better understanding of consent, realistically, as it relates to the workplace, versus the bar or a sex party. THESE ARE NOT THE SAME.
  • Finally, our community is obligated to create safe spaces and environments for those who have been victimized to receive help, counseling, medical care, or whatever they need, because we all know that no one else is going to do it for us.

Unfortunately, we will never know the exact number of gay males who are victims of any form of sexual violence or crimes due to low reporting, homophobia, shame/stigma, and a total lack of resources for survivors. But this does not mean that we should stop speaking up and out against these crimes or assisting our brothers who have been victimized.

Workplace Sexual harassment can take place in many different ways.

Male employers can suffer from harassment by coworkers, supervisors, high-level executives, company owners, vendors, or anyone else encountered on the job—and perpetrators are both men and women. Many different acts can constitute sexual harassment, but they generally fall into two broad categories.

QuidPro Quo Harassment

An all-too-common scenario involving sexual harassment occurs when a person with authority becomes an aggressor and abuses power over your job. Some examples of this include:

  • Your boss demands sexual favors and threatens to fire you or give you a poor performance review if you do not comply.
  • Your boss offers you a promotion, raise, or another employment benefit in return for sexual favors.

Hostile Work Environment

Sexual harassment that comes from a coworker or another individual who does not have authority over your employment requires meeting a different standard than quid pro quo harassment. For instance, a single offensive sexual comment or gesture will often not give rise to a legal claim. Instead, the conduct must create a hostile work environment that a reasonable person in your situation would consider hostile. Generally, a hostile work environment is created by one or both of the following:

  • Repeated and pervasive conduct that makes work unbearable
  • An extremely serious and offensive, if isolated, act that makes the environment dangerous or hostile

Once conduct grows so offensive or pervasive that you believe a hostile work environment exists, speak with an attorney immediately. An experienced sexual harassment attorney will help you report the situation to your employer. Your employer can then put an end to the conduct. If your employer fails to stop the harassment effectively, you then have the right to take legal action.

Employers often fail to take sexual harassment complaints by male employees as seriously as they should. If so, the hostile work environment may persist. An experienced attorney will understand your rights and remedies in this situation.

Retaliation and Constructive Discharge

Some sexual harassment cases involve additional complicated legal issues. First, many employees who complain about sexual harassment—especially male employees—experience unlawful retaliation from their employers. In addition to prohibiting discrimination and harassment, federal and state laws also prohibit employers from retaliating against employees who exercise their right to complain about unlawful behavior. Retaliation can involve any adverse employment action, including:

  • Discipline
  • Unwarranted poor performance reviews
  • Transfer to a less desirable position or location
  • Demotion
  • Denial of a deserved pay increase or promotion
  • Reduction in shifts
  • Termination
  • Other retaliatory actions

Options if you’ve been victimized.

Experiencing a sex crime at work can be traumatic, and as a gay male victim, you have specific rights and resources available to help. Your options include seeking emotional support, documenting the incidents, reporting the crime, and pursuing legal action. You are not at fault for what happened, and support is available. 

Immediate and emotional support

  • RAINN’s National Sexual Assault Hotline: Connect with a trained advocate 24/7 for free, confidential support. You can call 1-800-656-HOPE, use the online chat, or text “HOPE” to 64673.
  • 1in6: This organization helps men who have had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences. Resources include a 24/7 online chat-based helpline and confidential online support groups.
  • MaleSurvivor: Provides resources and support for men who have experienced sexual trauma.
  • Therapy: Consider seeking a trauma-informed therapist who specializes in sexual violence. They can help you process your experiences and begin healing. 

Actions to take in the workplace

  • Document everything: Keep a detailed personal record of all incidents, including the dates, times, locations, who was involved, what was said, and any witnesses. Save all relevant texts, emails, or other communications.
  • Follow company procedures: Report the incident in writing to your supervisor or the Human Resources (HR) department. This creates an official record and gives your employer a chance to address the issue. You can also ask for all interactions with HR to be in writing.
  • Keep HR accountable: Keep detailed notes on how the company responds, or fails to respond, to your report. This is important for a potential legal case if the harassment continues or if you face retaliation. 

Legal and reporting options

  • Title VII of the Civil Rights Act: The Supreme Court has held that Title VII’s prohibition on sex discrimination also protects employees from discrimination based on their sexual orientation and transgender status.
  • Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC): You can file a formal complaint with the EEOC. This is a necessary step before filing a federal lawsuit. You must file within 180 or 300 days of the incident, depending on your state.
  • State and local anti-discrimination laws: Many states and cities have their own non-discrimination laws, which may offer additional protections. These laws may be enforced by a state or city Division of Human Rights.
  • Contact an attorney: An experienced employment law attorney can help you understand your rights, file a complaint, and navigate the complex legal process. Legal professionals can also help if your employer ignores your complaint or retaliates against you for reporting the incident.
  • Consider a police report: You have the right to report the incident to the police, but the choice is up to you. Organizations like the Anti-Violence Project also provide a means to report incidents for data-tracking purposes without involving law enforcement.