Sexually transmitted illnesses are a fact of life for anyone and everyone who has sex. At some point, each of us will find ourselves at risk of infection or already infected. This is called life, and life comes with risk. Fetish sex is no different from any other form of sex, but the risks are varied and a bit more complex.

If you have decided to engage in any form of fetish sex, we strongly suggest you look at our article on vaccinations every gay man should have. This list is vital for providing, at the very least, the most basic of protections that you may need in your play.

“Will it Kill Me?

When it comes to fetish and kinky sex, many gay guys immediately conclude that it is perilous and will only lead to a multitude of sexually transmitted illnesses and an eventual painful yet deserving death. If you have not already done so, look at our article on Ten Truths about Gay Male Sex to see how STIs are transmitted. The basic concept in this article is that all sex and even physical contact come with a level of risk for infection with something. Even the most basic and vanilla activities can infect you with an STI.

The complexity of discussing gay male fetish sex and the possible risk of STI infection is that we don’t just perform one single activity during a session of play. Our sexual lives are filled with a multitude of activities that can pass on any number of illnesses. Also, who is to say that you contracted gonorrhea from kissing, rimming, or oral sex when you did all of them?

A few Examples:

Kissing, because of saliva (spit), can transmit gonorrhea.

A guy who touches your butthole with his finger can infect you with LGV, or TMVII

Touching another guy’s penis through mutual masturbation can give you a nasty case of warts.

Oral sex is known to transmit syphilis.

Rimming can infect you with HEP A.

  • In reality, fetish and kinky sex are no riskier and/or dangerous than everyday boring married gay male sex because, for the most part, the riskiest activities are also the most common.
  • Remember, if your partner(s) is not infected with any sexually transmitted illnesses themselves, THEY CAN NOT PASS IT ON TO YOU.
  • UNDETECTABLE = UNINFECTIOUS regarding HIV.

Fetish sex and STI:

Here are some of the most common types of fetish sexual activities gay males enjoy and their potential risks for each STI. This list is in no way inclusive of EVERY POSSIBLE ACTIVITY, just the top ones which involve exchanging bodily fluids.

Sharing Toys

A common activity between partners is to share sexual toys during play. As hot as this may seem, it does carry some risks every gay man should be aware of.

  • STI and Bacterial Transmission: Any infection transmissible through sexual contact can be spread by a shared toy. Viruses and bacteria can cling to the toy and transfer directly to the next user’s mucous membranes.
  • Cross-Contamination (Orifice to Orifice): Moving a toy from the anus to the vagina or mouth without washing it can introduce gut bacteria, leading to severe urinary tract or yeast infections.
  • Porous Materials: Toys made of cheap, porous materials (often called “jelly”) are notorious for trapping bacteria, viruses, and dirt in microscopic crevices, making them virtually impossible to sanitize.
  • Micro-tears and Open Sores: Penetration toys can cause microscopic tears in the sensitive skin of the vagina or rectum. If these come into contact with bodily fluids from a shared toy, the risk of blood-borne infections increases.

How to Minimize Risks

  • Use Condoms: The simplest way to share toys safely is to put a new condom over the toy before each use, changing it whenever it switches partners or orifices.
  • Choose the Right Materials: Choose toys made from non-porous, body-safe materials such as 100% medical-grade silicone, glass, or stainless steel. These can be easily sterilized or washed with warm water and antibacterial soap.
  • Clean Properly: Always wash toys immediately before and after use, following the manufacturer’s instructions.
  • Prioritize Lubrication: Always use plenty of lubricant (specifically water-based lube if using silicone toys) to prevent microscopic skin tears that leave you vulnerable to infection.
  • Get Tested: Because many STIs are asymptomatic, regular sexual health screening is the best way to ensure you are not passing on or catching infections.

Felching

Think of felching as two (2) fetishes in one. Rimming + swallowing semen. In this case, one guy sucks cum, either his or someone else’s, from the rectum of a bottom that has been…well, fucked. (We literally couldn’t think of another way to state the obvious.) Because of this, any risks associated with both rimming and semen are possible.

Sucking your cum out of someone’s arse, even if the person you are felching is HIV-positive, carries minimal risk for HIV. You may, however, pick up other STIs, including:

  • HEP A
  • Gonorrhea
  • Bacterial/Stomach infections

Snowballing

This is just a fancy way of saying semen sharing, usually back and forth between two (2) or more guys. This activity carries the same risks as kissing, oral sex, and semen.

Although high volumes of HIV can live in a positive guy’s cum, if he has a DETECTABLE VIRAL LOAD, research suggests that saliva has properties that will kill HIV. But, you may be at risk for other infections from swallowing cum, including:

  • Gonorrhoea
  • Chlamydia
  • Syphilis

These are the same STIs that are a risk factor for oral sex, even without swallowing or sharing cum!

Smegma

Smegma is a mixture of epithelial cells, skin secretion, and fluid, which can accumulate under the foreskin of the penis with a characteristic pungent odor and taste caused by lactic acid bacteria. More commonly known as head cheese, cock-cheese, and dick-cheese, smegma is on this list mainly for its rarity in the United States, as most males are circumcised.

With a look and smell reminiscent of a strong cheese, this product is fetishized for its rarity and unique taste and smell. But, it does not carry any risk in smelling or consumption beyond any that would exist for oral sex.

Watersports

Sometimes called golden showers and/or piss play, watersports always include some urine. This may consist of drinking and even bathing. If you ingest the piss of another guy or guys, you are at risk for:

  • HEP B

If you choose to drink from the tap (directly from the penis, with it in your mouth), you are at risk for the same STIs that one would expect from oral sex.

You can limit your risk by getting both the HepA and HepB vaccinations. A quick bath won’t hurt, either. Remember, piss is a waste product, and it is the avenue for your body to eject liquids it has no use for. Because of this, when drinking the urine of others, you may be at risk of taking party drugs they have taken or ingested. This is called CHEM PISS. Even though the drugs would be diluted, they can still get you high, especially if you take them in large quantities!

  • Chrystal Meth
  • Ecstasy
  • GHB
  • Cocaine
  • Ketamine
  • Beer (this is called recycling)

If you are curious about taking a dip in the golden pool, HERE is a beginner’s article to help you out.

Scat/Feces

To be blunt, this fetish is all about shit play, but it’s also a bit complex. Scat can involve simple activities, with NO, to VERY LOW RISK, like smearing one’s body or that of their partner(s). It can also involve the eating of feces.

Feces are another waste product that your body has no use for. Because of this, it is a portal for releasing bacteria. Even eating your own feces can make you ill if you have a stomach illness or virus. But most healthy people are known to ingest their own without much issue.

Touching your own feces has no risk; just make sure to wash your hands before handling food, people, your dog, or anything, because you can transmit bacteria and Hepatitis A.

ALWAYS WASH YOUR DAMN HANDS!

Touching/Smearing

  • HEP A and B (if there are open cuts, sores, or breaks in the other guys’ skin)

Eating another guy’s feces

  • Anogenital warts
  • Hepatitis A
  • Molluscum
  • Parasitic infections
  • Syphilis (if the guy has an open sore inside of his rectum)

If you consume feces directly from a guy(s) rectum, you are at risk for the same STIs one would expect from rimming.

Fisting

When some guys think of fisting, they envision an entire arm up some guy’s asshole, but in reality, fisting begins with just one finger. Playing Handball is a much more common fetish than most will admit, but it can be dangerous for other reasons besides contracting STIs.

Even if you do not consider yourself a fister, either top or bottom, you should be aware that LGV is an easy-to-contract bacterium that travels on the skin, from one guy’s asshole, onto the top’s fingers or penis, and then onto your asshole. So, any guy who touches your hole could infect you with LGV.

There is a noticeable level of physical safety that must be addressed with this fetish. The anus is a muscle that can stretch to very wide proportions with practice. But this takes a great deal of time, effort, and lubrication. If you are a beginning fister, either top or bottom, WE STRONGLY SUGGEST YOU BEGIN WITH A MORE EXPERIENCED PLAYER.

Latex gloves are highly recommended for fisting to decrease the risk of STI transmission and infection. Tons of lubrication and cutting fingernails very short are also great ideas. “Go-Slow” is the game’s name to avoid massive injury to the bottom (fistee).

There’s a risk of HIV if the fister has cuts or sores on his hand or wrist. If the guy getting fisted is HIV-positive, HIV in his anal mucus (the stuff that lines the arse) or any blood inside could get into the bloodstream of the fister. If the fister has DETECTABLE HIV, infected blood from the cuts could be absorbed into the bloodstream of the guy getting fisted through the lining of his arse.

  • If more than one person is being fisted in group sex, HIV, Hep C, and/or LGV could be passed from one to another via anal mucus or blood carried on the fist.

Here is a fantastic guide for fisting beginners. It has all the info a horny guy could want and more.

BECAUSE IT, unfortunately, MUST BE SAID:

  • Just because you might find a particular fetish disgusting, harmful, or wrong doesn’t make it accurate. Mind your own business; hopefully, people will do the same for you.
  • Not everything transmits HIV!
  • UequalsU
  • To be contagious, a guy, or guys, must be infected with particular STIs. Risk factors only apply when someone is infected.
  • Drinking your urine or semen has ZERO risk.
  • Eating your own feces only has risks if you are sick and/or infected with some form of bacteria. Healthy people are not at risk.
  • There is ZERO RISK in enjoying:
    • Feet
    • Dirty underwear, jockstraps
    • Flatulence (farts)

Fetish sex, just like any other type of sex or physical intimacy, is meant to be enjoyed and connect you with your partners. Fear of STI infections shouldn’t stop your play, but it is wise to be mindful of the risks, take precautions, including vaccinations, and take a moment to get to know your potential partners’ STI status and make sure to share your own.

As we always say, if you are sexually active, you should be regularly tested for ALL sexually transmitted illnesses every three (3) months. More if you are having more sex or believe you have been exposed to an STI.

If you test positive for any STI, take the medication as directed until completed before going back out to play. Your future partners will thank you.

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