We would like to start out with a few statements about gay male personal lubricants. For those of you old enough to remember, the idea of lube meant just for gay dudes was unheard of. One of the most popular products of the time was actually Crisco. Yes, the stuff your mother/grandmother bakes cookies and pies with. From anal sex to fisting, this was the slick stuff of choice. It is thick, creamy, tastes bland and cleans up easily. In our humble opinion these are still some of the basic characteristics you should look for in a personal lubrication. But, of course there are other factors to consider. We break all of this down in a few quick paragraphs. But, even when we mention or supply photos of particular brands, we are not endorsing their usage, or suggesting you purchase their products. We are only trying to give you examples of some of the options you have to choose from because literally there are thousands.
Lubrication, which can be purchased anywhere from the local drug store and sex shops to on-line merchants, should be bought based on what you plan to use it for. This seems like an easy enough question, but if you think about your real sexual life, you will realize that it is more complex than you think. Gay male sex is not like straight sex. The human anus is not self lubricating and thus requires some sort of man-made product to ease and facilitate penile penetration as well as comfort for both parties. But that is not the end of it.
Different lubes work better for different purposes. From jerking off, to condom usage and even natural sex, finding the right lubrication or lubrications for you will be a bit of trial and error. And worst of all, most of this stuff can be pretty pricey. So, let’s do a break down of needs.
At GMJ we believe in being honest and having real conversations with grown folks. This means that we know you like to jerk off. This is a very natural activity and we don’t trust guys who claim that they don’t do it. Masturbation is good for the body and mind. There are numerous studies and research that discuss the positive impact cleaning out the penile pipes can have for your over-all health. With this in mind, let’s talk about some types of lubrication that can help you relieve some personal stress.
There are three basic types of male masturbation. Quick, regular and edging.
Quick wanking is self-explanatory. You find yourself with a small amount of time but need/want to get off (no judgements). In this case, just about any lube will do, including spit. The need may over come you in many places, including the men’s room at work. Yeah, we know what you do! But it can even be a quick knock off to help you get to sleep. This is when having a bed side table of a few lubricants can be a benefit. For something fast, you don’t want to waste your best and most expensive product for a few moments of pleasure. You need to save the good stuff, for…the good stuff. Choose a lube that is inexpensive but get’s the job done.
Regular masturbation is a bit more complicated to define because it depends on the individual. For some guys, “regular” is fast, but for others it involves a more complex series of events and sexual aids (i.e Porn) Now, this is another time when your personal preference will come into play but also if you have a natural dick or if you have been circumcised. Guys with foreskins have always known the great pleasure of pleasuring themselves with the natural lubricant their penis’s produce when aroused. This is the reason many religions practice and support circumcision and your morning cereal routine was created to stop boys from jerking their chickens.
We believe for regular masturbation sessions that water based lubrications are best. They are usually pretty cheap, easy to clean up, dry quickly so as not to leave much evidence and also feel good on your cock. There are many companies that make water based lube so you will have your pick of the litter. Just remember price is a key factor. This is not the time to break open the piggy bank. You will use this product a lot!
For the 6 of you that have never heard of edging or “gooning” this is when a guy has a good amount of time on his hands and wants to prolong his masturbation session for the longest time possible. This could mean hours and for some guys, even days. There are many different techniques with this process but the most basic purpose is to get yourself to a place JUST BEFORE COMING, and then stop, just at the edge. This can be repeated over and over again and the longer you practice the better you get at it. There are also lots of different types of aids than can and are employed, including sex toys like dildos, flesh lights, video/ photographic and written pornography as well as the good ole fashioned imagination. No matter how you get your stroke on, this is a time you really need to consider what type of lube is best.
THICKER is BETTER. For any long masturbation session, you must think about the skin on your dick. The pulling and stretching on the skin is not good, especially for cut guys. You want a product that will not dry out quickly, has no harsh chemicals or smells and most of all will feel good on your cock. The edgers lube of choice is called Albolene. Actually, it is a cream made for women to remove make-up, but that is why it is known to work so well. It has all the qualities we mentioned and is safe and soft enough to use daily on your face. Yes, there are other products that can do the trick but you still want to find ones that work well for the job you want to do.
One of our greatest pet peeves is that when most people in the HIV field of information/education speak of gay male sex, they love to discuss condoms but always forget to mention lubrication. This is mainly because they come from a heteronormative life style that thinks our sex, is like theirs. Along with this, no one ever wants to discuss the real issue of the very large number of gay males that, for whatever reason…be it shared HIV status, PrEP and/or Uequalsu, have decided to not use condoms. This group also needs to be properly educated about intercourse and this includes lubrication.
We are not going to give you a biology lesson here (we will do that another time) but the anus is not self lubricating. Many guys, with or without a foreskin, are able to produce a large amount of pre-cum when aroused sufficiently, but this still will not be enough to properly lubricate the anus and penile shaft for the entirety of an anal sex session. Once again, and we cannot stress this enough, spit is not lube. The more and better lubrication applied the better the sex with be for both the bottom and the top. Nothing is worse than uncomfortable or painful sex.
So, this means that there are 2 types of sex we need to discuss: Without condoms, and with condoms.
Natural sex (without condoms)
We are starting here because this is the easiest one. The choices are endless and all depend on your desire, preference and price point. The most basic considerations should be about comfort, slipperiness and long lasting. Every guy’s dick and ass are different and what some enjoy, others will not. But, luckily trial and error can be fun. Water based lubricants are fine, but they can dry out fast. If you enjoy long sessions, you might want to go with a silicone based lube. These are slick and take a longer time to dry out. Some have even suggested coconut oil as a great, and cheap, alternative.
Sex with condoms
Here is the thing about condoms and lube; they need to go together like peanut butter and jelly. You really need one to help the other. Because of the natural biology of the male rectal cavity and the usual amount of time most gay males enjoy having sex, condom users must take all of this into account as well as the chemical make-up of the product itself. Condoms are a sensitive bunch that can easily break down if the wrong lubrication is applied or if enough is not applied over the course of usage. The recommended maximum time is 12 minutes, before changing.
To be very clear for those of you thinking about using home-made lubricants or general household products for lubrication with condoms…DON’T! Many of the slickest products in your kitchen or bathroom will contain some sort of oil that will break down condoms and make them much more likely to develop tears, holes or even break. Beware of: Vaseline (petroleum jelly), most hand and body lotions (including sunscreen), olive oil, coconut oil, Crisco (vegetable or animal shortening), butter (dairy or nut-based), whipped cream, some shampoos and conditioners, some soaps, shaving cream, vegetable oil, canola oil, mineral oil, cold creams, baby oil, lipstick, masturbation creams, massage oils, or anything with the word oil in it.
Silicone lube seems to be the choice of most gay males. It is slick, long lasting and comes in different textures like, EXTRA and CONCENTRATED. These, of course, are more expensive but will last you longer. A little dab will do ya, or him. The issue here is clean up. Many silicone lubes are not very water soluble and will stain your sheets. Our suggestion is to pre-treat your bedding before washing. Also, with all sex acts, try to keep a towel around for wiping hands, or other body parts, off quickly.
Nothing and no one can fit into one complete box. There will always be more questions and outliers that need more attention. Here are some answers to the questions some of you special guys might have.
What if I am allergic to latex condoms?
Polyisoprene condoms are chemically very, very similar to latex. While they may not give those with latex allergies allergic reactions, it still reacts to lubes the same way that latex does. Which means that you can’t use oil on polyisoprene condoms.
What type of lube is good for sex toys?
For toys coated in silicone gel or made with silicone resin, opt for a water based lube that won’t cause the surface of your toys to break down. For toys made of other materials like glass or steel, both water based, silicone based, and hybrid lubes will all work wonders.
What if I am into fisting?
Once upon a time the only choice was Crisco, which many hardcore handballers still prefer but now other products have reached the market to compete. Lubrication for fisting MUST be different from traditional lube. It has to be longer lasting and slicker. The lube of choice, because it can be purchased in powder form and mixed to your personal desire is, J LUBE. We have also found that it can be purchased pre-mixed, but the choice is yours. The issue with products like this is that they are stickier than you can ever really imagine before you begin and can get everywhere very quickly. This is another time when keeping a towel handy (always bring a towel) is a good idea. Some other options can be found HERE.
What if my hole is very sensitive?
Even if you are not a virgin, rectal sensitivity can still be an issue for many guys. It is one of the main reasons most will say they don’t like anal sex. But a proper lubricant, as well as partner that knows about foreplay, can help a lot. You can find desensitizing lubes in most sex shops. These products actually have a numbing agent inside. Cleanstream Relax anal lube is a great choice. It is a water based lube that contains Lidocaine as a numbing agent.
If your issue is that you are prone to allergic reactions like hives or rashes, and need lube for sensitive skin, or if you have experienced discomfort or burning when using lubes in the past, you might want to think about making a change to something formulated to be gentle. ASTROGLIDE Ultra Gentle Gel and ASTROGLIDE Natural Feel are both great choices. Not only are these lubes fragrance and coloring-free, they’re also made from ingredients that have been tested and proven to provide comfort and enjoyment. If you’re worried about having a bad reaction, try applying your new lube to a small section of your forearm to see how your skin reacts before moving on to more delicate areas.
What if I want to last longer?
If you want to last longer for masturbation or sex sessions or if you have issues or concerns with pre-mature ejaculation, there are lubrication options available for you. Climax-delaying personal lubricants will come to your rescue. Ride Rock Delay Spray contains a generous 7.5 percent of benzocaine which makes it a very fast desensitizer. This spray can be used with condoms. As with all numbing agents they can have the possible unwanted side-effect of making climax extremely difficult or impossible.
What is a hybrid lube?
With a hybrid lube you get to enjoy the natural feeling of water based lubes while also getting the benefits of a longer lasting silicone formula.There’s no need to have one kind of lube for in the bedroom and another for water play — a hybrid lube formula can pull double duty. Just remember that, like any lube that contains silicone, a hybrid lube can put some serious wear and tear on your silicone toys, so avoid using them together.
What is an oil based lube?
If you’re looking for a lube that is seriously long-lasting with a luxurious silky feel, an oil-based lube can be a great go-to. Some people find that they prefer the sensation of an oil and oil-based lube is also great for giving massages. However, if you’re thinking about using an oil-based lube for anal sex, there are a couple of things you need to keep in mind.
The first is that oil-based lubricants aren’t safe to use with latex condoms. They can make the latex porous, or even cause it to rip and tear. This means that oil-based lubes are better for those who do not need to use condoms. Another thing to consider is that oil-based lubes can also be hard to clean off of toys and skin, so be prepared to do some extra clean-up afterward.
Why do so many guys prefer silicone based lubes?
Silicone is a material made from alternate chains of silicone (a natural element) and oxygen atoms. It can come in many forms including rubber, resin and oil — those different forms make it great for everything from medical applications to insulation. Its liquid form is especially effective when used as the main ingredient in personal lubricants
Silicone-based lubes have a very unique, silky feel that is soothing to the skin and leaves it feeling soft and smooth. Silicone is also hypoallergenic, so it’s a great choice for lube users with sensitive skin or allergies. And since these lubes contain mostly silicone instead of water, they often last longer and need to be reapplied less often. Like Astroglide’s Diamond Silicone Gel, some silicone lubricants are also latex safe and generally toy safe, though you shouldn’t use them in conjunction with silicone toys as they can break down the rubber over time.The best thing about silicone based lubes? They’re great for water play. Unlike water based lubes that would be quickly washed away in the shower or tub, silicone lubes (especially when in gel form) stay put and keep friction at bay while you enjoy some slippery, wet fun.
Specialty and flavoured lubes
There are all types of niche lubes that cater to specific demographics and fetishes. This includes flavoured lubes as well as new comers like “cum lube” and warming varieties. We cannot speak to the specific nature or chemical composition of these products because they are too numerous and many of the ingredients have not been tested for gay male anal sex. This does not mean that they are all dangerous, rather take a buyers beware approach, and good luck.
Are there any benefits to using water based lube?
Sure! Because they’re water-based, they’re easy to clean up (and to wash out of clothing or sheets). And of course, since pure water is about the most natural ingredient out there, these lubes can also be very gentle and soothing to your skin. Most water based lubes can be used with condoms without compromising their integrity (meaning they won’t cause condoms to rip or tear more easily). They can also be used with toys like vibrators — even those made of silicone material.
Anything else I should know?
Lubrication, like most things in life, comes down to personal preference and a lived experience. It will take some time to find the right product for you and at the price you are willing to pay. Sometimes it is best to buy the larger bottle, and look like a slut, to save a few coins. Also, many sex clubs and parties may supply small packets of lube (snatch them up! They are free and easy to carry) but you may prefer to bring your own small bottle of lube. Just remember to keep a close eye on it. Things grow legs in the dark.
Before you go…
BESTLUBEZONE.COM listed their best lube guide for 2018. This is their list and not ours but we think it is a good starting point.
List Of Top 7 Anal Lubes For 2018
- Wet Platinum Premium – Silicone based lube
- Pjur Backdoor Relaxing – Silicone based lube
- Swiss Navy by MD Science labs – another silicone based lube
- Gun ???Oil – Thick and Slippery silicone based lube
- Liquid Silk – Hybrid lube
- System Jo Anal – Water based lube
- Cleanstream Relax – Desensitizing anal lube
The best lube for anal sex is Silicone based lubes. My personal favourite is Wet Platinum Premium Lube which contains the highest grade silicone. It is slick, slippery and last much longer than any other lubes. The only downside is you can’t use it with silicone toys as it breaks them down.