We want to start with a few statements about gay male personal lubricants. For those old enough to remember, the idea of lube meant just for gay dudes was unheard of. One of the most popular products of the time was Crisco. Yes, the stuff your mother/grandmother bakes cookies and pies with. From anal sex to fisting, this was the slick stuff of choice. It is thick and creamy, tastes bland, and cleans up easily. In our humble opinion, these are still some essential characteristics you should look for in personal lubrication. But, of course, there are other factors to consider. We break all of this down in a few quick paragraphs. But, even when we mention or supply photos of particular brands, we are not endorsing their usage or suggesting you purchase their products. We are only trying to give you examples of some options you have to choose from because there are thousands.
Lubrication, which can be purchased anywhere, from the local drug store and sex shops to online merchants, should be bought based on what you plan to use it for. This seems like an easy enough question, but if you think about your real sex life, you will realize that it is more complex than you think. Gay male sex is not like straight sex, and the human anus is not self-lubricating and thus requires some sort of manufactured product to ease and facilitate penile penetration and comfort for both parties. But that is not the end of it.
Different lubes work better for various purposes. From jerking off to condom usage and even natural sex, finding the correct lubrication or lubrications for you will be a bit of trial and error. And worst of all, most of this stuff can be pretty pricey. So, let’s do a breakdown of needs.
At GMJ, we believe in being honest and having real conversations with grown folks. This means that we know you like to jerk off. This is a natural activity, and we don’t trust guys who claim they don’t do it. Masturbation is good for the body and mind, and numerous studies and research discuss the positive impact cleaning out the penile pipes can have on your overall health. With this in mind, let’s talk about some types of lubrication that can help you relieve some personal stress.
There are three basic types of male masturbation. Quick, regular, and edging.
Quick wanking is self-explanatory. You have little time, but need/want to get off (no judgments). In this case, just about any lube will do, including spit. The need may overcome you in many places, including the men’s room at work. Yeah, we know what you do! But it can even be a quick knockoff to help you get to sleep. This is when having a bedside table of a few lubricants can be a benefit. For something fast, you don’t want to waste your best and most expensive product for a few moments of pleasure. You need to save the good stuff, for…the good stuff. Choose a lube that is inexpensive but get’s the job done.
Regular masturbation is a bit more complicated to define because it depends on the individual. For some guys, “regular” is fast, but for others, it involves a more complex series of events and sexual aids (i.e., Porn). This is another time when your personal preference will come into play but also if you have a natural dick or have been circumcised. Guys with foreskins have always known the pleasure of pleasuring themselves with the natural lubricant their penis produces when aroused. This is why many religions practice and support circumcision and your morning cereal routine was created to stop boys from jerking their chickens.
We believe for regular masturbation sessions that, water-based lubrications are best. They are usually cheap, easy to clean up, dry quickly so as not to leave much evidence, and feel good on your cock. Many companies make water-based lube, so you will have your pick of the litter. Just remember price is a crucial factor, and this is not the time to break open the piggy bank. You will use this product a lot!
For the 6 of you that have never heard of edging or “gooning,” this is when a guy has a reasonable amount of time on his hands and wants to prolong his masturbation session for the longest time possible. This could mean hours and, for some guys, even days. There are many different techniques for this process, but the most basic purpose is to get yourself to a place JUST BEFORE COMING and then stop at the edge. This can be repeated repeatedly; the longer you practice, the better you get at it. There are also many different types of aids that can and are employed, including sex toys like dildos, fleshlights, video/ photographic and written pornography, and the good ole fashioned imagination. No matter how you get your stroke on, this is a time you need to consider what type of lube is best.
THICKER is BETTER. For any long masturbation session, you must think about the skin on your dick. The pulling and stretching on the skin is not good, especially for cut guys. You want a product that will not dry out quickly, has no harsh chemicals or smells, and most of all, will feel good on your cock. The edgers lube of choice is called Albolene. It is a cream made for women to remove makeup, but that is why it is known to work so well. It has all the qualities we mentioned and is safe and soft enough to use daily on your face. Yes, other products can do the trick, but you still want to find ones that work well for the job you want to do.
One of our greatest pet peeves is that when most people in the HIV field of information/education speak of gay male sex, they love to discuss condoms but always forget to mention lubrication. This is because they come from a heteronormative lifestyle that thinks our sex is like theirs. Along with this, no one ever wants to discuss the fundamental issue of the vast number of gay males that, for whatever reason, be it shared HIV status, PrEP and/or Uequalsu, have decided to not use condoms. This group also needs to be adequately educated about intercourse, including lubrication.
We will not give you a biology lesson here (we will do that another time), but the anus is not self-lubricating. Many guys, with or without a foreskin, can produce a large amount of pre-cum when aroused sufficiently, but this still will not be enough to properly lubricate the anus and penile shaft for the entirety of an anal sex session. Once again, and we cannot stress this enough, spit is not lube. The more and better lubrication applied, the better the sex with be for both the bottom and the top. Nothing is worse than uncomfortable or painful sex.
So this means that we need to discuss two types of sex: Without condoms and with condoms.
Natural sex (without condoms)
We are starting here because this is the easiest one. The choices are endless, and all depend on your desire, preference, and price point. The essential considerations should be comfort, slipperiness, and long-lasting. Every guy’s dick and ass are different, and what some enjoy, others will not. But luckily, trial and error can be fun. Water-based lubricants are acceptable, but they can dry out fast. If you enjoy long sessions, you might want to use silicone-based lube, which are slick and take longer to dry out. Some have even suggested coconut oil as a great and cheap alternative.
Sex with condoms
Here is the thing about condoms and lube; they need to go together like peanut butter and jelly. You need one to help the other. Because of the natural biology of the male rectal cavity and the usual amount of time most gay males enjoy having sex, condom users must take all of this into account, as well as the product’s chemical makeup. Condoms are a sensitive bunch that can easily break down if the wrong lubrication is applied or if enough is not applied throughout usage. The recommended maximum time is 12 minutes before changing.
To be very clear for those thinking about using homemade lubricants or general household products for lubrication with condoms, DON’T! Many of the slickest products in your kitchen or bathroom contain some oil that will break down condoms and make them much more likely to develop tears, holes, or even break. Beware of: Vaseline (petroleum jelly), most hand and body lotions (including sunscreen), olive oil, coconut oil, Crisco (vegetable or animal shortening), butter (dairy or nut-based), whipped cream, some shampoos and conditioners, some soaps, shaving cream, vegetable oil, canola oil, mineral oil, cold creams, baby oil, lipstick, masturbation creams, massage oils, or anything with the word oil in it.
Silicone lube seems to be the choice of most gay males. It is slick, long-lasting, and comes in different textures like EXTRA and CONCENTRATED. These, of course, are more expensive but will last you longer. A little dab will do ya, or him. The issue here is clean-up. Many silicone lubes are not very water soluble and will stain your sheets. Our suggestion is to pre-treat your bedding before washing it. Also, with all sex acts, keep a towel around for wiping hands, or other body parts, off quickly.
Nothing and no one can fit into one complete box. There will always be more questions and outliers that need more attention. Here are some answers to the questions some of you special guys might have.
What if I am allergic to latex condoms?
Polyisoprene condoms are chemically very, very similar to latex. While they may not give those with latex allergies allergic reactions, it still reacts to lubes the same way latex does. This means that you can’t use oil on polyisoprene condoms.
Nitrile condoms (like the FC2), lambskin condoms (like the Trojan NaturaLamb), and polyurethane condoms (like the Trojan BareSkin Non-Latex Supra) can be used with any type of lube.
What type of lube is suitable for sex toys?
For toys coated in silicone gel or made with silicone resin, opt for a water-based lube that won’t cause the surface of your toys to break down. For toys made of other materials like glass or steel, both water-based, silicone-based, and hybrid lubes will all work wonders.
What if I am into fisting?
Once upon a time, the only choice was Crisco, which many hardcore handballers still prefer, but now other products have reached the market to compete. Lubrication for fisting MUST be different from traditional lube, and it has to be long-lasting and slicker. The lube of choice, because it can be purchased in powder form and mixed to your desire, is J LUBE. We have also found that it can be bought pre-mixed, but the choice is yours. The issue with products like this is that they are stickier than you can ever imagine before you begin and can get everywhere quickly. This is another time when keeping a towel handy (always bring a towel) is a good idea. Some other options can be found HERE.
What if my hole is very sensitive?
Even if you are not a virgin, rectal sensitivity can still be an issue for many guys. It is one of the main reasons most will say they don’t like anal sex. But a proper lubricant and a partner that knows about foreplay can help a lot. You can find desensitizing lubes in most sex shops, and these products have a numbing agent inside. Cleanstream Relax anal lube is a great choice. It is a water-based lube that contains Lidocaine as a numbing agent.
If your issue is that you are prone to allergic reactions like hives or rashes, and need lube for sensitive skin, or if you have experienced discomfort or burning when using lubes in the past, you might want to think about making a change to something formulated to be gentle. ASTROGLIDE Ultra Gentle Gel and ASTROGLIDE Natural Feel are both excellent choices. Not only are these lubes fragrance and coloring-free, but they’re also made from ingredients that have been tested and proven to provide comfort and enjoyment. If you’re worried about having a bad reaction, try applying your new lube to a small section of your forearm to see how your skin reacts before moving on to more delicate areas.
What if I want to last longer?
If you want to last longer for masturbation or sex sessions or if you have issues or concerns with premature ejaculation, lubrication options are available. Climax-delaying personal lubricants will come to your rescue. Ride Rock Delay Spray contains a generous 7.5 percent of benzocaine, making it a very fast desensitizer. This spray can be used with condoms. As with all numbing agents, they can have the possible unwanted side-effect of making climax difficult or impossible.
What is a hybrid lube?
With a hybrid lube, you can enjoy the natural feeling of water-based lubes while also getting the benefits of a longer-lasting silicone formula. There’s no need to have one kind of lube in the bedroom and another for water play — a hybrid lube formula can pull double duty. Just remember that, like any lube containing silicone, a hybrid lube can put severe wear and tear on your silicone toys, so avoid using them together.
What is an oil-based lube?
If you’re looking for a seriously long-lasting lube with a luxurious silky feel, oil-based lube can be a great go-to. Some people find that they prefer the sensation of oil, and oil-based lube is also great for giving massages. However, if you’re considering using an oil-based lube for anal sex, you need to keep a few things in mind.
The first is that oil-based lubricants aren’t safe to use with latex condoms, and they can make the latex porous or even cause it to rip and tear. This means that oil-based lubes are better for those who do not need to use condoms. Another thing to consider is that oil-based lubes can also be hard to clean off of toys and skin, so be prepared to do some extra clean-up afterward.
Why do so many guys prefer silicone based lubes?
Silicone is a material made from alternate chains of silicone (a natural element) and oxygen atoms. It can come in many forms, including rubber, resin, and oil — those different forms make it great for everything from medical applications to insulation. Its liquid form is especially effective when used as the main ingredient in personal lubricants.
Silicone-based lubes have a unique, silky feel that is soothing to the skin and leaves it feeling soft and smooth. Silicone is also hypoallergenic, so it’s an excellent choice for lube users with sensitive skin or allergies. And since these lubes contain mostly silicone instead of water, they often last longer and must be reapplied less often. Like Astroglide’s Diamond Silicone Gel, some silicone lubricants are also latex safe and generally toy-safe. However, it would be best if you didn’t use them in conjunction with silicone toys, as they can break down the rubber over time. The best thing about silicone based lubes? They’re great for water play. Unlike water-based lubes that would be quickly washed away in the shower or tub, silicone lubes (especially in gel form) stay put and keep friction at bay while you enjoy some slippery, wet fun.
Specialty and flavored lubes
There are all types of niche lubes that cater to specific demographics and fetishes. This includes flavored lubes as well as newcomers like “cum lube” and warming varieties. We cannot speak to these products’ specific nature or chemical composition because they are too numerous, and many of the ingredients have not been tested for gay male anal sex. This does not mean that they are all dangerous, instead, take a buyer’s beware approach, and good luck.
Are there any benefits to using water-based lube?
Sure! Because they’re water-based, they’re easy to clean up (and wash out of clothing or sheets). And, of course, since pure water is the most natural ingredient, these lubes can also be very gentle and soothing to your skin. Most water-based lubes can be used with condoms without compromising their integrity (meaning they won’t cause condoms to rip or tear more easily). They can also be used with toys like vibrators — even those made of silicone material.
Anything else I should know?
Like most things in life, lubrication comes down to personal preference and a lived experience. It will take some time to find the right product for you and at the price you are willing to pay. Sometimes it is best to buy the larger bottle and look like a slut, to save a few coins. Also, many sex clubs and parties may supply small packets of lube (snatch them up! They are free and easy to carry), but you may prefer to bring your own small bottle of lube. Just remember to keep a close eye on it. Things grow legs in the dark.
Before you go…
BESTLUBEZONE.COM listed their best lube guide for 2018. This is their list, not ours, but we think it is a good starting point.
List Of Top 7 Anal Lubes For 2018
- Wet Platinum Premium – Silicone-based lube
- Pjur Backdoor Relaxing – Silicone-based lube
- Swiss Navy by MD Science labs – another silicone-based lube
- Gun Oil – Thick and Slippery silicone-based lube
- Liquid Silk – Hybrid lube
- System Jo Anal – Water-based lube
- Cleanstream Relax – Desensitizing anal lube
The best lube for anal sex is Silicone-based lubes. Our favorite is Wet Platinum Premium Lube which contains the highest grade silicone. It is slick, slippery, and lasts much longer than other lubes. The only downside is you can’t use it with silicone toys as it breaks them down.
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